Once upon a time there was a politician who went around giving Speeches. He gave Speeches to groups of ordinary citizens, and Speeches to members of his own party, and Speeches to the Rotary Club, and Speeches to the Board of Trade, and even Speeches to other politicians. He gave Speeches to anyone who could be gathered into a room to listen.
It was a life full of Speeches, and in almost every case his Speech followed this simple pattern: "I am not like that Friend of the Rich who is presently doing bad things. If you elect me I will be on your side, and I will do only good things. So elect me."
Elections came and went, and each time most of the electorate voted not for the Politician Who Gives Speeches but for the Friend of the Rich, who said, "Vote for me and you will become rich. But if you elect the Politician Who Gives Speeches, the paupers will take over."
Each time the gap narrowed, however, while the Politician Who Gives Speeches got better at delivering his Speech.
Then the Friend of the Rich did some things which almost everyone could see would not make them rich, so a vocal minority complained. They complained and complained. They even circulated petitions, which they all signed. The Polls started to drop for the Friend of the Rich, and then for his Party.
So the Politician Who Gives Speeches said, "I am not like that Friend of the Rich who is presently doing bad things. If you elect me I will be on your side, and I will do only good things. You now NEED to elect me."
At which point a Northern Colleague of the Politician Who Gives Speeches said, "Do you not have another speech? You always give the same one, and it's starting to sound vacuous."
To which the Politician Who Gives Speeches replied, "Not only are you going to bed without dessert, but you're also no longer welcome at the Party." And kicked him out.
Friends of the Northern Colleague said, "Why should saying what has been obvious for years get you kicked out of the Party? We should ask to Party Council to tell us. There's a Meeting coming up; we'll ask them then."
Meanwhile, the Friend of the Rich was losing the confidence of his own Party, so he made one last, desperate, move. He said to the voters, "Here, have some of your own money. That will make you feel rich and vote for me."
But the jig was up, and the gambit didn't result in even a small bump in the Polls. The Friend of the Rich had become the least popular politician in the Land, so his Party turned on him, and he was forced to resign.
The Meeting of the Council of the Party was held in private, so we don't know exactly what was said. We do know that it was a splendid affair, complete with yellow ribbons and badges demonstrating love for the Politician Who Gives Speeches and trust in his Speech, and that there was much Press speculation about strategies and coup attempts. When it was over the Council reported that the Politician Who Gives Speeches only needs one Speech, which will get him elected next time. They also said nobody could force them to listen to the Northern Colleague or his friends, and that if those people didn't like his Speech, they should just shut up about it.
By the way, since the Friend of the Rich resigned, his Party has gone back up in the Polls...
...To be continued.
(Clearly, this story hasn't ended yet; it has too many loose threads!)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
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